That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
