Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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