All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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