chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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