I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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