apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
