apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize