I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
