"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I need a beard to bite.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
