What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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