this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
