can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
