The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
