he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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