if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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