I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize