We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
