I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
