Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
