would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize