$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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