Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
