I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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