Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
