mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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