Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
