I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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