Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My liver just had a heart attack.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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