You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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