Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
