Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
