so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
