If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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