They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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