I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
