I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
