I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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