Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize