do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
