I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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