If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
