Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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