I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Welp...herpes.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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