Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
