oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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