i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
