I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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