now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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