You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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