Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
