Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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