i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
