U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
