therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
