Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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