Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
