Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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