Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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