it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
