well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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