erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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