have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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